I’m tired of trying to figure it all out and get it all right.

I want to live the experience of my unfolding,
to be present in the moments of discovery,
to lean into the embrace of the unknown.

I’m tired of trying to catch up to a place
I think I should have already arrived at.

I want to wake up to this moment.
This life.
The sound of this home creaking in the night.
The particular smell of the damp moss this spring.
The exact shape of my child’s face at nearly eight years old.

I’m tired of believing I haven’t done enough,
of the urgency to be and do more,
endlessly racing toward an ever-moving finish line.

I want to lie down on the floor
and feel time flash by
and realize the miracle
of my being, breathing, unproductive,
and the sky didn’t fall.

I want to cook pasta with the windows open,
music playing and candles lit.

I want to dance in circles
while I stir the boiling water,
add the pesto,
chop the tomatoes,
and lick the juice from my fingers.

I want to sit down slowly at the table
surrounded by my people,
fresh flowers from the garden
perfuming the air,
and nowhere to be but here.

I want my mind to be emptied of the lists
and purified of the judgment that measures up to no one.

I want each breath to be a prayer to this present moment.

May I live into the details of this life,
the damp moss in spring,
my children’s changing faces,
a home that creaks and speaks in the night,
pesto pasta melting on our tongues.

May my body relax into these moments,
letting the stress and fear,
urgency and rushing,
melt down my spine and into the earth.

May this life be a living, breathing, poetic unfolding.

May I be alive and awake enough to experience it.

My heart wants to be known
My voice wants to be heard
There's a place inside
That longs for connection.

I arrive at the blank page
In a daily practice
Of meeting and hearing myself.

And the words spill free
And there she is
And she is wise
And she is tender
And she is alive with light
And she has magic in her bones
And still she is afraid
Every time she risks
Being seen
Being heard
Being known.

But she is also courageous
And brilliant
And brave
And she is learning to trust herself
And she is coming to know
The strength in her softness
And the power in heart.

And so she returns
Again and again
Day after day
Risking rejection
Finally ready for
Deep connection
Finally ready to be fully seen
Whole and free
Risking her heart wide open
No longer willing
To edit her brilliance.