The Spiral Library
An experimental space to hold collections of musings, inspiration, creation, questions, answers, thoughts, feelings, etc. A bit like a blog but... different and ever evolving.
Poem №086
A swelling of saltwater
behind the eyes.
An ache
that makes no sense
under this kind of warm
sunlight.
It hurts so much.
How can you trust the light,
when you’ve survived so long
in the darkness of fear?
A thing
that cannot exist
without its counter part,
does not stay
long enough
to provide
the kind of trust
you’ll need
to feel truly safe.
But is it really the light,
the joy,
the happiness,
the good,
that asks for your trust?
Where then,
do we place our trust?
Where then,
do we find the warm embrace
of safety?
What remains beyond change?
What lasts
when the dark clouds return?
Find the light within you.
You may not feel it
or see it now,
but it is there,
carrying you from
moment to moment,
incarnation to incarnation.
Place your trust
in that light,
become intimate
with it’s unwavering,
unconditional,
inner warmth.
Let it guide you
from the inside out,
even in the darkest of times,
through saltwater tears,
heartbreaking grief,
the too good to be true
ache of sunlight
on your soft face.
This place in you
exists beyond
all duality,
it is the stardust
we came from,
the home we return to,
the only place
you’ll ever locate
true safety.
Poem №085 – Give yourself time
All is well, little one.
Don’t rush yourself
to change
The dissolving
requires a lot of energy
Give yourself time
Give yourself grace.
Know that what feels hard now,
the things you want
so badly to do and be,
that feel so impossible to attain,
will come with ease
when you are ready
and not before.
Give the dissolving time.
Rest your head
on the shoulder of trust,
Everything that’s right for you
will happen for you
in divine timing.
Knowing this
won’t make the journey
less uncomfortable,
grief is a close companion,
an important portal,
to any evolution.
Try not to resist
the discomfort,
do not try to bypass
what arises within you,
but let this be a glimmer,
a soft light to follow,
when the cocoon
feels especially dark,
and the dissolving
feels especially disorienting.
One day you will emerge
with wings to carry you
to all the places
you always dreamed of
and beyond.
All is well, little caterpillar.
Studio Hours
Weaving a Life’s Work
Walking amongst giants
Emerging : 5.9.26
Emerging : 5.4.26
What even is time?
A personal list of Reiki Principles
Taking exquisitely tender care
Poem №084 – beyond you and me
Can you stay a while
Let yourself sink into the feeling
Watch the waves roll in
Crashing and then rippling out
A whole new pattern
Displayed across the surface of your heart
If you can pause in the presence of your being
You’ll witness the most miraculous things
The moon moves the water of the sea
Let the waves crash
So you can witness the ripples
As they go beyond you and me
Poem №083 – The thing that scares you the most
The thing that scares you the most
Is the very portal through which you must go
To truly free yourself
Poem №082 – The Gift of Returning
Go all the way
Lose yourself
Dissolve into despair
Let fear drown you
Give up all hope
Surrender into nothingness
It is only from that depth
That you can truly understand
The gift of returning
Emerging : 2.2.26
Poem №081 – Let yourself die
Will you let yourself die,
Spiraling into the depths of the abyss,
Where your fear finally swallows you whole
And becomes you?
Do you dare to go all the way
Into the kind of darkness
That forces you to your knees
Afraid you will never return?
Will you surrender to the place inside of you
Where nothing makes sense,
Where the same stories repeat,
Like a glitch in the system of suffering?
This is the place where
“I don’t understand anything”
Turns from the greatest fear
Into the truest freedom.
This, my love, is the portal
And I’ll be waiting for you as witness
On the other side.
Poem №080 – Mistakes
seashells on the dash
everyone makes mistakes
we ran out of gas
Poem №079 – When you forget
I remember
and forget,
remember
and forget,
remember
and forget.
Each time convinced
the present state
will last forever
only to find myself
rising and falling
with the shockingly
predictable rhythm
of the ebb and flow
of growing
healing
living
being
Am I still breathing?
I awaken
only to fall
back asleep
over and again.
It’s much less painful
to surrender
than it is to resist,
but oh how we cling
to control
as if our lives
depend on it.
Try to remember
just one thing:
Everything is always changing
and so are we.
And darling,
when you forget,
in your predictable rhythm,
try also to trust
you’ll remember again.
Poem №078 – Maybe this is change
Boiling to the surface
At the edge of spilling over
I am angry
And I’m angry that I’m angry
And you're angry too
And it’s supposed to be
“The most wonderful time of the year”
But we have precious little reference for that
All we ever knew was a thin veneer
Covering a complicated darkness
A maze of unmet needs
Layered atop generational resentment
I don’t want to feel like this
I don’t want to be like this
And the little one in me
Forever fantasizing
About the happy joy magic
Still has hope
Despite all the evidence
I’m afraid
What if nothing really changes?
Or maybe this is change
The small pause
Creating space for all parts
Gentle healing
Through acknowledgement
Of what is present
No forced smiles
No fake joy
No more pretending
Resistance melts slowly
It’s okay to feel sad
It’s okay to feel grief
It’s okay to want to feel safe again
Poem №077
The portal
to deep connection
where you can feel
the stardust
in your bones
and know belonging
in your being
begins within
Poem №076
Immersing deep
within the living
being
breathing
present
self
Following
the golden thread
of desire and delight
The kind of joy
that makes children
deep belly laugh
the kind of warmth
that makes you
feel alive
and whole and
good
It’s safe to feel good
It’s good to feel good
In this place
there’s no work to be done
no five year plans to be made
no need for efforting
or control
From this place
it all just happens
Trust
surrender
whatever you’d like to call it
it’s a here and now practice
This is where
the edges dissolve
and you remember
how immense you are
The way to the universe
is though the individual
and your most efficient path
is that of presence
“You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level.”
—
Eckhart Tolle