Day 11 : Devotion to the Experiment
With the emergence of autumn, I am entering a season of experimentation.
I am practicing opening my arms wide and stepping into the unknown without needing to know where it leads.
Last month, I became abundantly aware of how much energy I was putting toward subconscious ideas of how things should work, how I should make money, how I should build a business, and what a creative life should look like. All of the shoulds left little room for me to envision my own way of money-making, business-building, creative-living, etc. When you’re looking so intently at someone else’s map, it’s really hard to find your own way.
Seeing the maps I’d been following for what they were (someone else’s) and the clarity of finally knowing in my bones that I need to follow my own compass has felt like a deep exhale and a turn toward the great unknown.
As I take these next steps, the experiment is simple (for now): show up every day with devotion to the experiment.
Even when the voice says (and it does!), what’s the point? who cares? does this matter?
There is no strategy or map to follow, and I don’t know where any of this will lead me. But I’m certain that’s the point. My job was never to know the ending, but to bring my attention to the being. Which makes it not about the outcome, but about experimenting with consistency and trusting that clarity will emerge through the devotion of creation itself.
During this season of experimentation, I’m letting the artist in me lead.
Layers of landscape. New Mexico on film.
THIS SEASON I’M SHIFTING FROM:
Needing clarity first → Letting clarity emerge through practice
Consistency driven by fear → Embodied devotion rooted in intuition
Forcing linear growth → Allowing spiralic, organic unfolding
Needing to know the outcome → Practicing trust in the unknown
All-or-nothing effort → Gently returning to the daily practice
Avoiding discomfort → Staying present with what arises
Creating for an outcome → Creating as an act of being
Asking what’s the point? → Letting the practice itself be the whole point
