Poem №078 – Maybe this is change

Boiling to the surface
At the edge of spilling over

I am angry
And I’m angry that I’m angry
And you're angry too
And it’s supposed to be
“The most wonderful time of the year”
But we have precious little reference for that

All we ever knew was a thin veneer
Covering a complicated darkness
A maze of unmet needs
Layered atop generational resentment

I don’t want to feel like this
I don’t want to be like this

And the little one in me
Forever fantasizing
About the happy joy magic
Still has hope
Despite all the evidence

I’m afraid
What if nothing really changes?

Or maybe this is change
The small pause
Creating space for all parts
Gentle healing
Through acknowledgement
Of what is present

No forced smiles
No fake joy
No more pretending
Resistance melts slowly

It’s okay to feel sad
It’s okay to feel grief
It’s okay to want to feel safe again