I will plant my roots firmly in the soil of my own being, connected to my truth, tethered to and supported by the earth…

This week I find myself looking back at this past year with a deep sense of gratitude. I am grateful for many things, many people, and many experiences. But what I find myself wanting to acknowledge most is the gratitude I feel towards myself, for all the ways in which I opened and stepped out of my comfort zone…

I always thought to transform I’d need to fix. Fix myself, fix my thinking, fix the way I parent, fix our lives, so we could transform into the sparkling image in my head. If I could just find the right book, the right course, the right advice, the right fix.

There’s a place inside that’s damp, dark, cold. Where cobwebs decorate the corners and there’s nowhere to sit because no one would want to visit this place, let alone stay a while. It’s the place inside where shame lives…

Within this place I hold many questions and few answers and the questions are as wide as they are deep. I wonder why I am here, what my purpose is and where am I going? I wonder, do I have a gift to share? They say we all do, but I’ve been searching, grasping around in the deep, as if underwater gasping for air, and my hands do not find their way to anything solid.

Those first steps, we’ve been waiting for them, watching you getting closer and closer to autonomy. And then you are off and there's no stopping you. Suddenly your tiny hand wants nothing to do with mine and I imagine it’s like watching birds fly and suddenly sprouting wings.